Currently Listening Shock Value Apologize (ft. OneRepublic) see related

oh man.. what has life been like since i last left a message on this dang here xanga.

well my boyfriend left me. thats always cool. but from what i dont understand all the way are the circumstances.  its like we were supposed to talk about it and we never did.  so much was left unsaid and it kinda hurt. i thought i understood most of it, but i was just naive.  seems my naivity always takes the best of me...

school is gay and im retaking a class with sunshine. its always fun being in the same class as her. she grounds me and is there to help me pay attention... or the lack thereof hehehehe.. shes the bestest friend anyone could ask for really and im glad shes there with me.  sucks that im not returning to school next semester.. but im off to bigger and better things.. its not like im not going back to school.. im still gonna get my degree.. its just gonna take me a little longer than most... watch, ill be the one graduating with the 8th graders now.. hahaha.. thats a hell of a long time.

something big just occured in my life and im super darn excited about it.  im officially a model/actress in the state of nevada.  its something ive dreamt of my entire life and now that it has become a reality, im fascinated to whats going to happen next.  ive got some acting classes to take and ive got some headshots to put online to start the booking process. its crazy how many people want to become something. its up to me to be as big as i want to be and boy, do i!  days where i can afford anything i want.. and i can buy my friends cool stuff and where i can be debt free cuz thats the way to really be. hahaha.. bring on the drugs! im totally kidding...

i wish i could write more.. im the novelist type - what can i say? hahaha.. but im beat and i gotta get up in the morning and go to work and then go to school.. the whole "my life is boring" bit. hehehe..

hopefully dr. truman calls me and tells me i have a new job.. otherwise ill be without one and thats sooo not cool... cuz i cannot afford for that to happen at all.. not one bit.  i want this new job so badly! i dont know what to do.. grr.. he better call me.. even if it is to say i dont have the job.. i just need to know now. orthodontics.. here i come!

love always and forever, barbara

mood: straight up stressin fool.

holy shit its been more than a year ago since ive written in this xanga of mine.

all i know is that right now im stressin out soo bad.  so many things that need to get done and my horrible time management is seriously holding me back.  i seriously shouldnt even be on the computer right now. i should be focused and engaged in my precalculus II take home test.  i sometimes wonder if being a high school math teacher was a bright idea... ???  oh well, im stickin it out because i dont want to be in school any longer than i have to.

then theres english. holy shit. i hate english. english is the worst subject i have ever taken in my entire life.  I think english was a lot easier my freshman year in college only because sunshine was in my class. that was fabulous.  but now that i know no one, and yea...it is freaking gay. oh man. and i think CAP tests are this week. you've GOT to be kidding me.  i just now realized that...  great.  at least that means my rough draft isnt due this week. at least i HOPE not.  i'll have to check.  but anywho... english kicked my ass last semester and it seems as though its being kicked again.  damn, i suck.

thats not the only thing stressin me out, either. im fighting/arguing/not talking to my best friend right now.  its sooo hard not talking to her.  i did something bad and im trying to fix it.  who knows how long this is going to take, but i just have to be patient.  i just wish she would give me a chance to undo the things i had done...  but i dont want to get too far in..  but knowin that you cant talk to your best friend kills...theres so much i want to talk about and do but it seems like it would all be in vain. grr...

i just dont want to worry about so many things.  ive got to get my life organized!!  this isnt healthy.

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interesting huh?!

So i definitely agree with sunshine.

myspace has surpassed xanga.

haha. xanga 0 - myspace 1348798347928374